Decisions, Decisions
by emma-3503
Summary: Can Hermione choose? Loosly based songfic to The Starting Line's song. Short drabble.


**A/N:** Just a _very_ short drabble, again another plot bunny. This hasn't been beta'd or reviewed and I just felt like posting it to see what people thought. It it loosly based off of the song "Decisions, Decisions" by The Starting Line.

** Decisions, Decisions  
**

**.:Prelude:.**

Most stories of Harry begin with him returning to Hogwarts. Well, sorry, but this story will be different. Hogwarts no longer exists after the death of Dumbledore and the rising of Voldemort. This story begins with our favorite hero on his birthday. He is miserable for his 2 best friends have not written, called, or seen him since the day of Dumbledore's funeral. As dusks falls our story continues...

**.:Number 4 Privet Drive - July 31, Dusk:.**

Harry threw the last of his things into his trunk. He was leaving this hell hole tonight once and for all. Having passed his apparation test earlier that morning, leaving would be easy. Harry closed his trunk and kicked it hard. He had not forgotten about his so called 'friends' of his. Not even a single note. So much for promises, hell of a lot those do... Harry thought bitterly as he shrunk his trunk and put it in his pocket. He was now of legal age in the wizaring world, therefore underage wizarding laws do not apply to him. He grabbed his Firebolt and Hedwigs cage.

"To my flat in London, you know where it is girl," he said softly to Hedwig before apparating there himself. He had purchased a flat in muggle London. Apparantly the exchange rate from wizarding money and muggle money was great. A single galleon got Harry quite a bit of muggle money, and what with his hundreds of galleons he was filthy rich in the muggle world.

**.:Muggle London - July 31, Nightime:.**

The flat was not extravagant, but it was nicer than most. It had a large bedroom and one and a half bathrooms. A nice sized kitchen and a larger-than-most-flats living room as well as a small entry way. It was on the third floor of the building, which gave him a nice view from his small balcony outside of his bedroom.

Harry entered his bedroom and threw his trunk onto his bed and began to unpack. An owl flew in with a letter attached to its leg. Harry gave a disgruntled sigh and went over to the owl and detached the letter. Ripping it open, he read the familliar script.

Harry,  
_Where the hell were you? You missed Bill and Fleur's wedding, everyone is worried and panicking. Please send something back so we at least know your still alive!_

Hermione

'Pfft' Harry made a disbelieving noise and cast the letter aside and continued unpacking. A loud 'pop' was heard outside of his room and Harry turned quickly, instinctivly reaching for his wand. He slowly crept cautiously towards the door.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER, YOU GET OUT HERE THIS INSTANT! YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!" Harry cringed as he recongnized the voice. He stepped out into the living room.

"Hermione," He stated to no one inparticular. Hermione turned quickly, red in the face.

"Harry," she brethed and ran to give him a hug. Harry did not hug her back. She pulled away quickly. "Harry! Everyone was worried sick! What were you thinking missing the wedding like that?" Harry just looked at her, not shocked, but annoyed. How dare she come storming into his flat and blame him for not showing up!

"What were you thinking leaving me stranded in that hell hole without a single letter?" Harry replied angrily. No, he was not angry he was furious! Hermione lened back as though he had just slapper her, which he was very keen on the thought of doing so.

"Excuse me?" She said, "But it's not as though you've sent anything -" but before she could finish, Harry cut her off.

"Bull shit, Hermione, and you know it. What about that promise you and Ron made?" he half yelled. "We were going to see my parents grave, we were going to travel the world, we were going to -" he said quietly, "Nevermind, none of that matters now. What matters is that you are tresspassing!" He said louder.

"Oh come on Harry, are you really going to kick me out?" Hermione retorted rolling her eyes. Harry just stood in silence. Her cheeks were flushed from yelling, her chest rising and falling with each breath she took. Harry look away from her, mumbling a barely audible 'no'. "Right," she said plopping down on the couch like she owned the place. "Sit," she ordered. Harry opened his mouth to retort, but Hermione silenced him, "Sit," she said more forcefully. He sat.

"Hermione -" Harry began.

"No."

"I love you," harry said before he realized it. "I -er- mean..."

"Oh Harry, I- I'm so sorry, but...Ron..."

"Out - get out!" harry yelled suddenly. "damnit Hermione, why do you make me say these things!" Harry was on his feet and by the door and opened it making it clear Hermione was not welcome. She walked over to the door.

"Harry, I-"

"Spare me the pity party, Hermione, go home to Ron," hermione opened her mouth as if she was going to say something, but snapped it shut and walked silently out of the door. Harry shut the door hard and slid down to the floor. Why did he just now realize how much he loved her, why couldn't he have realized it sooner? Why couldn't he keep his damn mouth shut? Why couldn't she love him back? He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment before standing and going to his room.

She could not help the small sob that escaped her as she walked out the door, letting him go. Why could he have not said this earlier? Why couldn't he have realized this love before she gave up on him? Before she harbored her feelings for Harry to her other best friend? Why the hell did he have to say this to her now? She Apparated with a 'pop' back to her home, where she silently cried herslef to sleep, attempting and failing miserably to forget tonight.

**.:Muggle London - August 7, 3:27 AM:.**

Harry could not sleep. No matter how hard he tried he could not rid his mind of Hermione - and Ron. It made him feel sick to think of them holding hands, cuddling, and kissing like couples do. Oh how he wished he could be there cuddling and kissing Hermione and not Ron. fat chance. He must have been insane to tell her that he loved her! Yes thats it, he'll plead temporary insanity. Good Lord, did he really think she would have loved him back? _Yes_. But she loved Ron! _Sure, thats what you think..._Harry really must be insane. Hermione does love Ron and there is nothing he can do about it! He shook his head trying to clear his head. An insomniac with love on his mind? Insane indeed...

**.:Hermione's Home - August 7, 3:27 AM:.**

Hermione tossed and turned in her bed. Never had a boy caused her this much trouble. She could not get Harry off of her mind, or Ron for that matter. She loved Harry, but then there was Ron. She couln't very well go up to Ron and say 'Oh, Ron, I'm dumping you for your best mate who dumped your little sister because he was in love with me, his best mate's girl' No that wouldn't go over to well. But then again, she couldn't just turn her back on Harry either. Never in all her life had she had not only one but two boys in love with her. _Yes, but who loves you more...oh you very well know who loves you more, your just too scared to admit it_Hermione shook her head. Surly she was insane thinking all of these thoughts. _yea, crazy in love..._Okay, she'll admit it, she wants Harry, Ron will just have to deal.

Hermione jumps out of bed and apparates over to Harry's...

**.:Muggle London - August 7, 3:31 AM:.**

Harry sat up in bed and saw the dark figure approach the bed. There stood Hermione. He let out a breath he ddin't relize he was holding in. Hermione sat on the bed. "Harry I - to hell with it!" She grabs Harry and kisses him. She pulls back waiting to see his reaction. He remains expressionless. "But Ron -" Harry states with no emotion in his voice.

"Skrew Ron, Harry, this is you and me and me and you! I love you!" Hermione said desperatly.

"I can't Hermione. I know I'm the one who said it first, but I can't - I can't love Hermione. I can't lose you. You need to leave, you need to go back to Ron and pretend you never even saw me, you need to pretend I'm dead because for all I know I very well could be soon." hermione jumped off the bed, extremely hurt. Tears threatened to spill out her eyes.

"Don't say this Harry, I know you don't mean it -" Hermione said her voice almost cracking.

"Hermione - I'm not saying I don't love you, I'm saying I can't! God I want us but it can't happen! Not so long as Voldemort is around,"

"Fuck him and fuck the rest of the world Harry! It doesn't matter, nothing matter to me but us," The tears now ran freely down her cheeks.

harry was silent for a moment, "You need to go," he said quietly and very forced. He could not look at her.

"Fine, " She said and apparated away without a single thought.

**.:Hermione's Home - August 7, 3:47 AM:.**

Hermione kicked and screamed and cried letting all of her emotions out once she got to her room. She threw her chair across the room and tore her books from the shelves. She threw herself across the bed and seeing it on her bedside table she grabbed the picture of her and Harry . She crumpled it and threw it at the garbage missing it by an inch. It bounced off with a 'ting' and hit the floor.

**.:The Burrow - June 21, 4:30 PM (The next year):.**

Hermione smiled as she walked down the aisle towards her future husband. Ron smiled nervously back. A while later the minister asked, "If anyone has any objection to this marraige, speak now or forever hold your peace," Hermione turned and looked into the crowd almost hopeful someone would speak up, that _he_ would appear and sweep her off her feet into the sunset.

He watched from the shadows as she looked into the crowd. He knew she wished someone would speak up, and for a fleeting moment he was about to. No one noticed the savior of the wizarding world stalk off into the sunset as the words "I do" rang out like a gun shot to his heart.

**.:Muggle London - June 21, 4:47 PM:.**

Harry walked slowly around his flat. His things were packed and ready to go, all he had to do was decide where to go. Perhaps he would go to Africa...he always wanted to see a giraffe. He could go to America, he always wanted to see the US. His thought were interupted as he heard a knock on the door. He opened it slowly, he hadn't expected a visitor.

He stood shocked as he saw Hermione before him. He wedding veil was almost off the back of her head and her hair was...everywhere. Her dress was ripped and one strap was hanging off her shoudler.

"I ran." She stated simply. Harry hugged her and they both broke down. They stood there sobbing into eachother's shoudlers for what seemed like forever before Hermione finally spoke. "I - I couldn't do it Harry, I just couldn't. I could never forget about you Harry. I was so worried, he - he said 'I do' and I just ran..."

"Shh...it's okay, everything will be okay," He said softly to her, stroking her hair. He lifted her head with his thumb under her chin. He sealed his promise with a kiss.

(LYRICS)

"Decisions, Decisions" by The Starting Line

_ I can't wait for this to end  
and leave tonight behind us  
I'm unsettled letting go of you  
and sleeping the night in silence_

this letdown falls along with me  
onto my bed while rolling over so  
break my heart and break my fall  
don't kiss him and cover all the  
memories you had of me

the last time I saw you  
you were standing by his side  
the last time you saw me  
was through your closed eyes as  
i'm waiting by the phone

He loves you?  
who loves you more  
To let you go ?

I can wait until my heart mends  
so I can finally go outside  
and I tell myself,"Well Ken,  
It's better to have lost love  
then paint a smile and pretend"

The last time I saw you  
you were standing by his side  
the last time you saw me  
was in a crumbled photograph  
that missed the bin 


End file.
